Monday, 29 August 2016

Bank Holiday

Burkinis in the distance

Thank God, the Welsh only have hang ups about sex and chspel!
We are sitting on the beach again happily enjoying the sight of a dozen or so Muslim ladies in Burkinis having a bit of a surf.
I've only had a couple of hours sleep but after the "Fridge door " incident, I thought it prudent to get out of the village with the Prof who has had to cope with the cottage responsibilities unaided for the past 48 hours!
Not only has the " door" put him into somewhat of a mental decline, he's finally lost his patience with our elderly bed mattress which for him is as comfortable as lying on a barrel load of hedgehogs and these two things coupled with a middle of the night lightening storm which triggered a somewhat unexpected canine diarrhoea event, the poor academic is in need to a beach break.
He doesn't do the mini disasters of real life.

So here we are again,
but this time I've refused to burn my arsehole !

Tomorrow will be an exciting day...the Prof goes back to work after a month off, the cottage is having  new Windows fitted and Winnie, well, Winnie will be beside herself, cos she will be given free rein with two ( YES TWO!!! ) window fitting workmen all of her own! 
The subsequent  bulldog masturbatory frenzy will be sight for very sore eyes!
Hey ho

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Busty Worries

Cheap movie thriller circa 1950
Busty blonde with pointed tits turns to rugged and probably gay leading man
" It's awfully quiet out there" she purrs
He frowns, showing  his beautifully square jaw to the camera
" yeah.........too quiet"

Indian arrow slams into tree next to them
Busty lass screams!

I'm in bed and have been for six , blissfully silent hours.
There has been no noise from downstairs all day!

I'm worried! 

Saturday, 27 August 2016


To those that disbelieve 
The " new" fridge door
( see previous post)
Thank god John Lewis delivers

Sod's law

I wasn't going to blog today, not enough time.
Working the next two night shifts, finished some gardening today and by the shopping was done and the animals fed and my arse lathered in aloe vera........ I was just having a sneaky five minutes sitting on the toilet with my ipad before going to bed when there was an almighty crash from the kitchen.
" The fridge door has just fallen off!" The Prof bellowed
And by the time I got downstairs he was manfully trying to keep the dogs away from a mound of broken bottles, spilt jams and preserves, milk and what looked suspiciously like splattered mustard after the top part of the fridge freezer had collapsed into the centre of the kitchen floor
" My life is shit!" Moaned the Prof
Bless him

Friday, 26 August 2016

As A Crisp!

This afternoon.....I fell asleep with my head inside our beach tent
.....but with my " builder's crack " in full sun
This evening The Prof has been applying aloe vera liberally to the affected parts
It's very painful

The Beach Tent Row

i bought a beach tent from Aldi yesterday
And we had the customary public row about how to put it up on Colwyn Bay beach this afternoon.
Lovely to be back on the sand again
And we have wify too!

Thursday, 25 August 2016


The older I get, the easier I find I can access my assertion/anger button
Some of that comes from experience and confidence.
Some of that comes out of need.
and some of it comes from the way businesses feel that they can treat the general public like shit

Today, I've been waiting for a  Customer Relations Person to call me and every time the phone has rung, it has been someone else on the line......This has proved to be somewhat galling given that just before I picked up the receiver, I have psyched myself for a bit of a verbal joust
( a case of too much testosterone with no outlet)

Finally, a rather prim Mz Beale called me, ( 5 hours after I was promised a call) and I was just about to let rip when I let out an uncensored and unchecked scream of " nnnnnoooooooooooooooooo! "
I lost all credibility.
Out of the corner of my eye, I had caught Albert placing two very heavy paws right into a newly gloss painted  window ledge.

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Bake Off

Three posts in one day? Bloody hell
I had to leave things on a lighter note, what with Sad George and French Birka overkill dominating today's posts
The bake off is back!
And hats off to the BBC for finding another 12 delightful contestants
We have a feisty PE teacher, a vicar, a ditsy grandma, a sweet natured boffin, a potentially arrogant banker ...and best of all a camp-as -Christmas Sikh Queen who was seen skipping around the bake off tent like a middle aged Harvey Feirstein
Wonderful stuff